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Merlins - Match center

Maidenhead Merlins
Wallington
Sat 9 Dec 14:45 - League Full time

A festive classic!

Merlins 3 - 0 Wallington A special seasonal match report

(To the tune of “Jingle Bells”)

The time of year has come
Our Merlins for to praise
Losses we had some
Sometimes did amaze
But our strong resolve
Always shining through
Falt-er- ings we will absolve
And shots that went askew

Chorus:
Oh, something smells, something smells
Merlins kit today
Oh, with Persil we have tried
To take that pong away
Oh, something smells, something smells
Merlins kit today
Oh, with Persil we have tried
To take that pong away

Difficult this year
So much fuss about
False news causing fear
Many a blow out
Trump on the rampage
Others not out done
Brexit stirring up much rage
And then there’s Kim Jong-un

Chorus:

Played ‘gainst Wallington
This cold Saturday
Ron second to none
Keeping goals at bay
Roger at the back
Playing oh so slick
Doug of course will take the flack -
That silly walking stick

Chorus:

Midfield playing strong
No ball could get through
Marc did nothing wrong
On cold fingers blew
Spud out on the left
Warming his poor ass
Lest he would be left bereft
Like monkey made of brass

Chorus:

We miss lots of goals
Heartburn’s turning red
His team he cajoles
To leave this game for dead
Oppo stops attacks
More than Trump makes gaffs
But their very skilful backs
Would have no epitaphs

Chorus:

Finally a break
Moving on the right
Please make no mistake
Alleviate our plight
Mahdi gets the ball
Deep inside their D
Supporters he did well enthral
Great goal they did agree

Chorus:

Half time talk is tough
Everyone knows best
DV is plain gruff
Gets it off his chest
Back to the affray
Frozen to the core
Normal rules apply today:
Advice we will ignore

Chorus:

In the second half
Strange though it may seem
(Where’s the fatted calf?)
We play like a team
Hans did dominate
Round the middle field
Wallington left in a state
By Laurie’s skill revealed

Chorus:

‘Twas a bitter pill
For oppo oh so brave
Score now at two-nil
(How many did they save?)
More bad news to come
We’re not over yet
George then made a blinding run
And Nathan found the net

Chorus:

Rob will ne’er fatigue
When we play like this
In a different league
Nothing goes amiss
Playing with true grit
Now we’re three in front
When Roger falls head-over- tit
with an acrobatic stunt

Chorus:

Fin is quite a star
Play-ing at Altwood
Wish all were on par
With young Jack Haywood
As the game ran out
Merlins kept on top
Though we lost Dougie to gout
We had a newer crop

Chorus:

We missed Colin Byrne
‘specially his citóg
Hope that his left turn
Will come into vogue
Victory was sweet
Despite frozen rump
We may even get a tweet
From that Donald Chump

Chorus:

Choice now to be made
Player of the game
Spud short of the grade
(All agreed – a shame)
Clear the winner was
When the count came in
Hans the one who got applause
For a de-serv- ed win

Chorus:

So the year departs
On a winning streak
We’re top of the charts
(Yet some bones may creak)
Craig and Andy left
(noncommittally?)
‘till we fix the Brexit cleft
Some stay in It-al- y

Chorus:

Simon for you aid
Editor in chief
Thanks now must be made
And no language grief
Well done, a good job
Our supporters club
(That is normally just Bob
Plus those down at the pub)

Chorus:

Hopefully that drug
Will fix up your hip
Hopefully, unlike our jug,
You don’t end in a skip
Season’s greetings all
May your egg be nogged
And underneath the mistletoe
Let’s hope that we get snogged!

Chorus: ad infinitum, ad nauseum

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