Mens Merlins beat Berkhamsted Development 5 - 0

MERLINS GO THE EXTRA MIALL

MAIDENHEAD MERLINS 5 - 0 BERKHAMSTED DEVELOPMENT

C Miall (3), B Miall, Castle

Having had their scheduled pre-Christmas game cancelled, the Merlins took advantage of a blank fixture date to entertain Bekhamsted. In an effort to burn off the seasonal excesses and avoid shopping, thirteen Merlins arrived at the ground. The most surprising attendee was Roger Bowes who had advised that he would be travelling back from his pied-a-terre and would not be available. Not only was the skipper surprised to see him, but needed a double take to confirm it was the former RAF ace and not Cat Weasel enjoying a pre-match cigar. Their favourite Bray Two pitch had been marked out, but no safety netting was in situ. Undaunted, Craig Mair led a working party who erected makeshift netting on brewery umbrellas. Berkhamsted were two short and Le Bob Wright and Arthur Wood agreed to swap sides.

Blessed with an unusual pool of talent, the Merlins lined up with a number of players playing out of position, most notably the wings where Doug Courtney and Simon Miall relinquished their accustomed defensive roles. Driven on by the elegant Ben Miall at centre half, the Merlins dominated the game from the start. Having obviously not given his father and brother the Christmas presents they wanted, he presented both with gift wrapped scoring opportunities which they both squandered. Eventually losing patience, he decided on a solo effort to provide the first goal. With the wing halves, Bowes and ‘Spud’ Murphy and the rampant Courtney providing innumerable crosses into the circle, chances went begging. The only forward who didn’t waste these was Mair, but the ’keeper saved his best efforts for his shots. Chris Miall did more dribbling than his watching new born nephew, but continually ignored entreaties to pass the ball. Impervious to this, he weaved his way into the circle before scoring from an acute angle with his new stick which was a Christmas gift from his father.. On a bitterly cold day, ‘keeper Beardmore was only brought into the game when a speculative cross eluded Tony Robinson. Both sides were fully appreciative of the half time whisky and mulled wine provided by the recuperating Duncan Bloomfield.

Intense Merlins pressure resulted in a string of short corner awards, but the profligate Castle and Mair eschewed shooting opportunities despite the consistent insertions provided by the hirsute Bowes. A change of routine at the set piece saw Mair stop the ball and feed it to the in rushing Castle who made no mistake with his fierce shot. Much like the first half, Merlins continued to dominate, but failed to score the goals that should have rewarded the midfield’s efforts. Doug Courtney was a revelation at left wing and was a potent threat whose only shortcoming was an inability to shoot between the posts. A moment of comedy was provided when Bowes attempted a Brownesque piece of horizontal hockey, but failed to touch the ball nine inches from the post! Berkhamsted enjoyed a period in which they won a number of short corners, but never got a shot in. As the action returned to the Berkhamsted half, Ben Miall presented his sibling with a gold plated scoring opportunity which he gratefully put home. Despite tireless running, Simon Miall failed to put shots on target, but won the MOM award (a better description would have been the Breeders Cup for siring the best two thoroughbreds on show and Becks who chose to watch Reading rather than make it a Mialls’ Merlins). With the outcome sealed, Berkhamsted made a break down the left. This fizzled out into a sixteen yard hit. Trevor Wardle took the opportunity to demonstrate his dead ball hitting skills to crack the ball to Chris Miall at the top of the opposing circle. He calmly dribbled past the ‘keeper to complete his hat trick.

Both sides showed their gratitude to Peter Johnstone and Pete Elsworth whose sympathetic umpiring in difficult conditions made for a very enjoyable game. The seasonal festivities were completed as chef de cuisine, Craig Mair and commis chef, Lawrence Castle laid on a gastronomic sausage feast. This was followed by the traditional cheese and port in the company of the umpires and the sidelined Malcolm Falconer and sommelier Bloomfield.